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9 Ways to Survive Manhattan by RHOA Star, Nene Leakes

by | Sep 24, 2014

There is some basic knowledge needed to survive and thrive in Manhattan.

Take a moment with Nene Leakes of the RHOA to find out how to survive the big, bad borough of Manhattan. The woman has a face for EVERY situation.


1. Always have a book with you.

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Read the first two chapters, pages 160 to 190, and the last chapter. You need to be prepared for questioning from the novel snobs. Also, when someone asks if you read the book that preceded the newest blockbuster, just say yes. They are judging you for six other things anyway.

2. Be 26, even if you’re not.

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Nobody likes you when you’re 23. People here will pass judgment on you whether you are mature for your age or look young for your age. However, the second you admit that you’re 23, they will show pity for you and tell you to buckle up for a bumpy year. They are right, but don’t give them the arrogant satisfaction.

3. Don’t karaoke too often, it’s weird.

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When you do, don’t sing from ‘Grease’. Seriously though, stop sending me Facebook invitations to karaoke. It is not even worth it here. Everyone can out sing you and it is their personal mission to do so in front of a crowd of 26-75 people. Everyone is tired of hearing you sing the same 6 songs anyway.

4. Have your metro card ready every time, no exceptions!

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This is VERY important. As you walk down the steps toward the entrance to the subway platform. I implore you, HAVE SOME INSIGHT. There will most likely be 32 people trying to get through six turnstiles to make it to their train on time. You hold up the line, you deserve every harsh word and shove that will be thrown your way. Get it together!

5. Look annoyed as you walk through Times Square

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Times Square is one of the most terrible places ever. If you have not been there, there is no way you could possible understand. It is like walking through a war zone full of middle aged Montana natives who cannot get over the lights…OH, THE LIGHTS!!! So, fix your face and prepare for battle. People need to understand how inconvenienced you are.

6. Know the location for a Soul Cycle or Yoga to the People. 

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You don’t have to go, just know where they are. Listen here, at some point or another you will fall in with the wrong crowd. This crowd includes people who are always armed with a Juice Press, go to yoga four times a week, have heated arguments about breast feeding in public (a baby’s gotta eat, right?!), and live on the Upper West Side. These are NOT your friends. They are not on a spiritual journey to find you. The are meditating to find themselves. I digress, at least be able to have a basic conversation with them…after all, yoga and SC are the only thing they talk about.

7. Secretly love Starbucks because nobody can make a Frap like THAT. 

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Outwardly hate them because they are a corporate monster. Never, under any circumstances, answer “Starbucks” when asked about your favorite coffee shop. There are three for every metropolitan block. They are corporate, and those people from #6 will just drop dead if you dare acknowledge aloud how obviously awesome 71% of what SbX serves is.

8. Don’t ever apologize to strangers for anything. 

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It shows weakness. Don’t be weak, Shelby. There will be times when you are the idiot who is staring at your phone instead of looking forward. You will bump someone and before they have a chance to berate you, you have to yell “watch where you’re going, jerk!” Be strong. Be crazy.

9. When you meet a group of people who can tolerate your hometown war stories, stick with them.

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Most people in NYC will only talk to you if you can do something for them. There are 8 million people in New York City. Chances are, there are a few nut jobs who can make you feel like you’re home. Take the time to find them and drop the ones who don’t make you feel good like the East River flies that they are.

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